My Little Rebuke (and first sketches!)
Hello friends!
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve been able to put out another update! Graduations, deadlines, the list goes on! But I’m really excited to get back on track with this new Pluck Out Your Eyeball series.
As I’ve been gathering stories and meeting people who have been impacted by porn, I have to admit that the biggest emotion that has come up for me is anger.
I have met women who have lived in a “shame cage” for so long because of their addictions, men who came across porn when they were innocently looking up video game cheat codes as a kid, women who struggle to find a husband because of porn addiction…the list goes on.
I am so infuriated by what porn has done to men and women made in the image and likeness of God, destined to do great things.
To quote from one woman I interviewed recently: “lust didn’t attack me because I couldn’t love, it attacked me because my love is meant to change the world”
The greek word for “rebuke” is epitimaō which means “to show honor”. Many times we think of rebukes or admonishments as something hurtful. But what it really is is something to the effect of, “I love you too much not to tell you …”
Rebuking is hard. It is much easier to avoid confrontation and put up walls to each other. But God has taught me that love calls us to enter in. I could choose to sit and seethe and grow resentful at the porn industry, or I could try to do something for the people it hurts. And sometimes what that “something” is, is a wake up call.
This art project is my little rebuke. I love you too much not to tell you that it’s time to take a stand against pornography and lust. And if you don’t, it’s going to destroy every ounce of love in your life.
These paintings are a rebuke, but they’re also a weapon for the fight.
Like Jesus says to the leper: “Your sins are forgiven. Take up your mat and walk”. He doesn’t just tell the leper to sin no more, he gives him the assignment to walk as well as the miracle to actually do it.
Jesus forgives every sin that we repent of. But he doesn’t stop there. He tells us to get up and walk in new freedom. And he provides everything we need to do it.
There are so many ministries and organizations that want to walk with you…if you take the risk to hope. Already I’ve had many women tell me about how instrumental Magdala Ministries has been in their recovery. I also know Freedom Coaching, Catholic in Recovery and Desert Stream Ministries have helped thousands of people, just to name a few.
But that’s the thing: you have to take the risk to hope.
One woman told me that the thing holding her back from getting the help she needed was her lack of hope. Hopelessness kept her trapped. But one night, she got angry. Really angry. How dare this thing keep her in the darkness? Life had to be better than this. It was anger that motivated her to take that first step and tell a friend. By exposing her shame, she broke the power it had over her and she began the process of healing with a small group. Now she lives a life of freedom, helping other women combat their own demons.
Maybe we all should get a little angrier at our sin.
So…from the depths of my anger at the injustice of porn, I’m eager to show you some of the images I’ve been brainstorming for this project below! 👇👇👇👇👇
There are so many images I’ve been praying through for this series. And I think I’ll divide them up into a few core aspects of porn addiction. The temptation, fragmentation and effects, fighting back, and redemption through Christ’s healing. So for now I want to show you a few images from the “temptation/fragmentation” section.
I went with the symbol of an angler fish to represent pornography. The person attracted to the glowing orb drops his sword, shield, and crown, showing the dignity we shed when we engage with lust.
We see a man who has secured the glowing orb (pornography) and sits on a slab of concrete with his sword embedded in the stone. Beneath him are his wife and children, a “family tree,” that supports the weight of his sin as he refuses to pick up the sword. A friend of mine who walks with men through porn addiction often tells them, “if you refuse to fight this battle yourself, your sons will have to fight it for you.”
In these sketches I want to show the destructive nature of “hiding”. Pornography is surrounded by so much shame that to reveal it to anyone would feel like dying. Still working this one out. In Christianity, a unicorn traditionally represents chastity, so a woman hiding her sin also locks up the beauty of God’s purpose for her sexuality.
Together, men and women caught up in lust are drinking from a river that never satisfies (in the belly of the angler fish).
Though they know what they are made for, the man and woman are unable to attain this vision of their humanity on their own. Without acknowledging their inner “wounded child,” the generational sin passes onto their children.
I’m still looking for people to share their stories with me and model for these images. If you feel so called, please reach out! Your story, no matter how shameful, can be used to help others through this project!
Thank you so much for being a part of the Studio Club and keeping me in your prayers!
-Mattie
P.S. Print Drop info is coming soon! Some of you asked if She Pondered could be included in the upcoming drop. Let’s take a vote! Click here 👉
